Entries in Fan Art (9)
The Problems: Brobdingnagian morning cookies; the time LTJG David Roderick (USN) kind of maybe scared off a Zero with his rogue Colt M1911; Merlin windmills through his brief Kneepads and Floppy Epaulets Phase; why John thinks depths charges are a careless and potentially orphan-endangering pussy move; John discovers an oxidizing superpower—then struggles to find a cool name; Billy Joel and his stupid goddamned loose tie bullshit; Merlin tries in vain to keep his new bell a little special; fortifying your underwater home against an attack by Navy SEALs; nobody just “walks away” from a Coffeetology® audit; John poses for Playboy with his cripplingly handsome friend, Jon Hamm; post-mortem on ’30s gangster things; Pete Townshend is attacked by a long-range baby marmot cannon; “Oooooo, hey, everybody, look at me! I’m some Somalian guy and I give everybody tickets!”; that one time when John and Merlin shot big guns; methods for concealing your (standard) yacht from Malaccan pirates; The Dardanelles Mountain Goat; streamlining childbirth via the metaphorical ordnance of Battlestar Galactica (no, the 1978 one); a much-needed clinic for teaching ladies proper loogie aperture; Really? Wooden knife? Really?; no, sir, you can’t slip a urethra by John Roderick; fantasies of Elle Macpherson on a juicy and super-hot Copenhagen run; arriving late to the Damascan spy game—perhaps in a robe; in Soviet Ukraine, collaborators Vichy you; never hide stuff in the actual yogurt place, because that’s just what they’d be expecting; apolougies from the deferential bottom gangs of Canada; the gun that lets pirates know when business is meant; okay, so, we’ll give Turkey maaaaaaaybe a “7”; one headlamp per doorknob; years John was literally soaking in war; plus, John and Merlin finally prepare to launch Hitler ’n Stuff!
The Problems: Addressing the ersatz physicians of midwestern Christian aristocracy; The He-Man John Roderick Haters Club; goose-stepping at Schützenfest; enjoying a fancy meal at Sclerotic McStuffingtons™; Le Petite Mal Mort de «Mademoiselle»; the awkward moment when Olive Garden stops regarding you as “family”; some dueling freedoms of a very young America; how Merlin became a youthful “Senior”; and why John started crying when he learned that the trains never really ran on time.
The Problems: John refutes Poe’s telephone; surprising contagion of the beloved vuvuzuvuzela; Roger Daltrey: District Attorney; The ’Barrow Boy’s Patrician Shrug; a balrog in the dwarf mines; comments are still steadfastly disabled; white wizard potential; longevity means finding room in one’s book; John considers removing lady embolisms as a move; how you get the Center Square; Vincent Price’s productive eyebrows; why Van Halen’s making nothing off those damned coke mirrors; John identifies Merlin’s liquids and many songs about pirates; Triumph of the Poutine; the trouble with thinking; the night John’s pillows watched over him; inflammable roach clips; a rockabilly song about dragons; A Brief History of Unnavigable Carnival Mud; initiation into the family coven; John considers some costly boots for his kit; and, our first biological interlude.