Ep. 05: "Carry on, Maude"

Updated on October 15, 2011 by Merlin Mann

The Problems: the Greek dessert crisis (from the root, disagreeos); analyzing the tactical dearth of mousse in the Maginot Line; a shared fate for Ernst Röhm and the Clampett family; disruptive oninonomics behind food that blooms; no Abrahamic sandwiches for Hilal the Elder; some phallocentric appeals of flan and its equipment; John’s beef with the compulsory heat of Turkey’s nuts; why hasenpfeffers are expendable; ruined by a young Marlo Thomas; when *M*A*S*H* got all Chachi; line-editing Raymond Carver’s cocktail napkins; accent on the fakeyest Cockneys, Guv’na; formally moving on to African-American-tie racism; efforts to secure Ann-Margret’s hips (and flips) a place our canonical phalanx; John’s morbid—and ultimately unfounded—fear of Neil Young’s doobie; saving a lovely, dark-haired girl from hipster yodeling; and some editorial follow-up on why Merlin could still use a good Pounding.

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Ep. 04: "Sears Would Call Me Husky"

The Problems: Pixxxxxie Grrrls; punk rock day; George Lucas’s dewlap; numerous Charles Nelson Reilly issues; why John Hüsker Dïdn’t; Merlin’s chronic struggles with facial hair; Czeching out the Beetle; our complicity in a massive Rob Halford denial; scalloped versus fretless; when we looked like butter-top bread; incontinent mastiffs; the overdue need for a Personal Ads tribunal; challenges of the mechanical pancreas for the working musician; and why there’s nothing wrong with Merlin that couldn’t be solved by several well-structured ass-kickings.

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Ep. 03: "The Viet Cong Can Smell the Soap"

The problems: the perfect storm behind John’s Egyptian cold; Deweys vs. LOCs1; wishing you were the fruity English guy with the briefcase; declining standards at the DMV of countries; when science systematically moistens our cellos; how Merlin started loving BNs; whether John might be a 60-year-old sleeper cell; and how Rem Koolhaas is ruining literally everything.

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1. say: “LOW-shizz” (/loʊˈʃəz/)  ↩

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Ep. 02: "White Leather Carpet"

The problems: topical storms; Wears-a-Hat guy (and the uniforms of his ruthless punishers); our touchy tattooed friends; an elegant Kanji; John’s numerous hauntings, visions, and visitations; Angelina Jolie’s insane bubble of insanity; the ubiquity of permanent sexface; why we’re not actually that fancy; fake benefits; the byzantine chili fan and earnest butchery; and why That’s Not Funny. It’s not. It’s ***not funny***.

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Ep. 01: "Keep Moving and Get Out of the Way"

Punctuality, Freud, reasons, John’s brutal introversion, R.E.M.’s sense of humours, listening with toolboxes, the explicit honesty of volcano science, and ultimately rethinking humanity’s Latifahesque, fleece-and-beards struggle with the two a priori laws.

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Ep. 00: "Suit of Vomit"

Our pilot episode.

Steak, Babies, Hitler, Molecules, Hearing Loss, and the Best of the Liberal Arts.

Pretty much what you’d expect.

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