The Problems: Pixxxxxie Grrrls; punk rock day; George Lucas’s dewlap; numerous Charles Nelson Reilly issues; why John Hüsker Dïdn’t; Merlin’s chronic struggles with facial hair; Czeching out the Beetle; our complicity in a massive Rob Halford denial; scalloped versus fretless; when we looked like butter-top bread; incontinent mastiffs; the overdue need for a Personal Ads tribunal; challenges of the mechanical pancreas for the working musician; and why there’s nothing wrong with Merlin that couldn’t be solved by several well-structured ass-kickings.
The problems: the perfect storm behind John’s Egyptian cold; Deweys vs. LOCs1; wishing you were the fruity English guy with the briefcase; declining standards at the DMV of countries; when science systematically moistens our cellos; how Merlin started loving BNs; whether John might be a 60-year-old sleeper cell; and how Rem Koolhaas is ruining literally everything.
say: “LOW-shizz” (
The problems: topical storms; Wears-a-Hat guy (and the uniforms of his ruthless punishers); our touchy tattooed friends; an elegant Kanji; John’s numerous hauntings, visions, and visitations; Angelina Jolie’s insane bubble of insanity; the ubiquity of permanent sexface; why we’re not actually that fancy; fake benefits; the byzantine chili fan and earnest butchery; and why That’s Not Funny. It’s not. It’s ***not funny***.
Punctuality, Freud, reasons, John’s brutal introversion, R.E.M.’s sense of humours, listening with toolboxes, the explicit honesty of volcano science, and ultimately rethinking humanity’s Latifahesque, fleece-and-beards struggle with the two a priori laws.